Step #3 in healing any Relationship

We riseSee the other person as Perfect and Whole

As you think of that other person, make a list of everything you love or like about her or him. No one is all bad. Everyone has some qualities, so stretch yourself if you have to. Do not think about the issues at hand. Focus on the positive only, no matter what! It is all up to you.

The other person will change just because of how you see that person has changed. You don’t have to say a thing to him/her. Just silently focus on the positive even if it is a very small attribute like they are neat and tidy or they love animals or whatever. By mentally and emotionally aligning with the positive in your friend, partner,parent or child you literally invoke a higher version of them, and a higher version of the relationship.

When you choose to drop all judgments, rationalization and justifications, and take complete responsibility for the relationship, you have the power to heal that relationship and also create the best possible relationship that you can ever imagine.

Judgment can be tricky. We often do it without being aware that we are. We feel it when someone else is doing it to us. If someone is acting negatively to you, stop and look at yourself; where might you be judging? Even if you are not saying it, your energy always projects your thoughts and feelings.

I urge you to consciously be mindful of your own self judgment always, but more so when you are in the process of  choosing to heal a relationship with someone. The more you self judge the more difficult it will be to get the results that you are aiming for in the healing of the relationship with the other. Letting go, seeing yourself as your very best self will set you free of your own self made prison that self judgment keeps you in.

From writings of Nanice Ellis and Claudette Chartrand

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Step 2.Heal Your Judgment Of Others

judgment of others
How are you judging others?. If it is someone you love or someone who has caused you harm; Be it a friend, a spouse a child, co-worker or even someone in your past. Also do not confuse caring with judging. No matter what, you have no right to judge. One way to start the process is to journal and make a list of all the ways you are judging the other and one by one Let them go. If you look within to see how you are judging yourself in a similar way, you can then release those judgments also. Releasing and Letting Go happens when you make a conscious choice to do so. You may repeat it several times, now and whenever the judgmental thought comes back to mind. It is a process  that you must keep practicing until you are free of judgement. However you are making a huge shift for yourself as soon as you begin this process.

No matter how well you know and you think you have the answers for another, you do not know what is best for him or her.

If you do want to help,you can support, listen and encourage them to ask their own questions so they can make empowered choices. With some insight you may be able to  offer a question that will allow them to find their own clarity.

If you are asked, you may give useful advise as long as it does not come from judgment. Judgment causes alienation and with that you cannot make a difference.

Stay in integrity with your own beliefs, and model this behavior. Preaching and meddling will result in your message having no impact at all.

This is directed to adult relationships, but children react negatively to judgment and positively to encouragement. If you want to be an empowered parent, you can effectively guide a child or adolescent without the punitive force of judgment.

Step 1. To heal any relationship We need to Heal our own Self-Judgment

46dac6e3cb907c50c34230cbac5a5f94Our world is a reflection of our own conscious and subconscious beliefs.  Therefore it is a logical deduction that if we are judging someone else, it means that we are judging ourselves. If we  Look outwardly to see how this person is judging us, and inwardly to then see how we are judging ourselves in a similar way. We must take time to see the connection even if it is not exactly the same judgment. When we see clearly the identification,we must choose, consciously to Let it Go. Expand ourselves as we spoke of in previous blogs. See ourselves as our Best, Higher selves, as big as the Universe, embrace what we feel about our own judgment. Don’t push it away. Feel it and Release it to the Universe for healing, transmutation……..Let it Go!!!!

This is a personal journey…….you can share it but it is your choice to or not. It is quite magical how we will see changes in our world. Changes in the behavior of the other we were struggling with. Others reflect to us what we hold inside. If we see that the other is still judging us, we must go back inside and clear the remaining of our own self judgment.

Step 2…will be in the next blog.

This info is from Nanice Ellis and from my own research in human relationships.

Three steps toHealing any Relationship

     Do you have a Relationship you would like to heal?

The best part about the three step process is that we do it on your own. We do not need the other person even know what we are doing.

Contrary to what we all believe, relationship issues occur because one or the other or both are in judgment. It is not because we disagree on certain issues. Issues occur because we are Judgement of ourselves the other or both.Without judgement relationship thrive and they heal.

When we feel judged in any way or for any reason big or little it causes feelings of rejection and so we shut down, distance ourselves and or judge back to protect ourselves.

When we are the one who is judging, we are pushing the other away, no matter if we feel justified or that we know better. This is he best way to alienate a friend, a lover, partner, child or sibling or anyone at all, and to keep ourselves unhappy and miserable no matter who it is we are judging.bandaid for the heart

     Releasing our judgment for another will not only Heal the relationship  with them ,it will also heal the relationship with our own self, our soul and our spirit . It will set us free to be who we truly are. If this person is not someone that we want to spend time with or do not want as a friend, we are still freeing ourselves by using this process. Holding judgement is NEVER in our best interest no matter what the situation.

Follow the next blogs for the Three Step process to have the power to Heal any Relationship.

Focus

When we Focus upon lack in an attitude of complaining,we establish a vibrational  point of attraction. This only gives us access to more thoughts of complaint. When we choose to tell a new story, we establish a new pattern of thought.  This new pattern will give you a new point of attraction from your present, about your past, and into your future. It is re framing your reality. This simple effort of Focusing on positive aspects of your current life situation will set a new vibrational tone that will begin the immediate attraction of thoughts, people circumstances, experiences that will enhance your life and bring you Joy. This is what we speak of when we speak of The Law of Attraction.focus

Be conscious of what you choose to focus on. This can change your life!!!!

Why is Not a Question

I have written a few blogs on asking the Universe/God/ your Higher self Questions. The message loud and clear is ask and do Not go into your head to figure out the answer. Just go about your business and your answers will come to you. This type of question will open up the energy for more information, and give you more awareness of what you already know.

Asking WHY this and WHY that  actually closes  up the energy for more information and awareness to come in. This is because is it a Feel yourself to free yourself question coming from judgement and dissatisfaction.  These will keep you stuck going nowhere.

How about bypassing the why and ask  What do I need to do to change this?

Check in to see if that makes you FEEL LIGHT or HEAVYChances are you will feel LIGHT. 

Go about your day and see what guidance will come your way.

Light and Heavy

When you suddenly sad, or angry or grief stricken; whatever it is you are feeling, always check into your body to see if the feelings are yours. When you ask; Is this Mine? Your body will feel LIGHT if it is yours, and HEAVYHeavy versus light if it is not yours. Whatever feels light is true for you. Whatever feels Heavy indicates that this is a lie for you and so it is not yours.

This exercise gives you information and awareness.

If you feel LIGHT you can breath it in, feel it and then let it go. This is a good time to Expand out. See yourself as big as the Universe….and Let Go!

If it feels HEAVY, it is Not Yours,so SEND IT BACK…with compassion  and let the Universe/God take care of it. Enjoy practicing!